A fact that I never shared to public.
I am a performer. I am a dancer, a teacher. And I was working for Les Mills Asia Pacific as Trainer and Presenter for 8 years. Who was presenting and lecturing in front of many people. National and through ASIA.
I started dancing at the age of 3. And yes, I was always performing. Traditional dance – Balinese to begin with until I was 5? And Fashion Shows, Talent Shows, Piano Concert, Ballet Performance for 11 years. Name it. I’ve spent my life on stage.
And today, I still work on many stages.
The stage is a big thing in my life. Not because of I’m a person who loves to be watched. That’s weird ha? But I just knew, that is where I belong. Being on stage always makes me nervous. Always. Everyday. Even to my regular classes.
Those who know me very close. Understand how I actually hate crowds. I hate crowds. For real. But when I was young, I had that moment where I just wanna let go and did not care about what people think. I sang in clubs. Night Clubs. So there was i…kinda lost it.
But you know, sometimes there is this lost opinions to this kind of job that I do. Stage Mom. They took it the wrong way. And start giving zero respect or honour the way we make a living.
34 Years. Today, I felt like everything slowly change. I still love being on stage, but its more about doing an artistic thing like a real dance show, or a real teaching session. And many people been asking me, why in the world, I no longer do Dance Classes that I always love doing. Or why won’t I pursue my Zumba?
Being on stage all the time, required a lot of preparation. And none of it should be done overnight, unless you received a last minute call in which i’m not a big fan of.
- As an instructor – To teach a class, I will need to prepare a week before for one week ahead. I can’t just change the playlist or class theme on the spot. And sometimes, it is hard to say no to a request. But again, in my plan, i tried to mix and put the best workout.
- As a Dancer – I refer this to my BodyJam™ or Sh’bam™ class. The beginning of my career, i practise everyday. For hours. I did not skip. But once i have Haka, everything changed. No it is not an excuse, i still did self practise, but this time it is hard to do everyday. And to me that is not enough. But the one thing stick to myself is that i know, i know that I love choreography. That I am able to absorb and review it asap. That is why, going back to BODYJAM™ is a natural thing to do. But these days, it was hard. Not that i could not, but it was hard to manage the time i have and with school activities. Priority needs to change.
- As a Trainer and Presenter – Months and Weeks is a minimum period i prepare my module. I practise public speaking. I did research to relate the module content with whats happening in real life. I need to understand my preach and “practise” my preach. Practise by mean, doing what I taught.
Those things are important. You cant just do either one. And to me it was a lot.
I had that moment where I became so ignorance and just showed up with no plan. Or teaching without practise and make my class a stage rehearsal. Big NO.
And that was the reason I have to let go some of the role i have been handling this year.
I thank God i realise this earlier and had sometimes to think about. To review and reflect many things. And being with My child is what we all need for now. For him, for me and for my husband. I was not myself, and overwhelmed with many responsibilities that i have agreed before. I was not being consistent and somehow thing my self acting un-professional.
Photo : by Lulu Artistika for Gold’sGym Stronger Day January 2017
But to those of you mothers out there. Who works as a Lecturer, Teacher, Singer, Dancer, DJ or another great job to make a living. Work double, work overtime. I think you understand this. When the curtain call, we are out there. We have to do it, even if we did not have an overnight to prepare.
We do it to make a different in someone’s life. It could be our audiences, our viewers, our trainees, students. We are there to make a different in their life.
Rise up whenever you feel guilty for leaving your babies or kids. Stay grounded when you have Golds in you pocket. Remain calm when you face the hardest storm.
This writing dedicated to All Mothers who are working hard or even a Part Time – Working From Home Mother.
Empower other Woman. Reveal our truth, our self.